Austin Scholar #11: Finding Your Tribe
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This week from Austin Scholar...
What I learned about community when I spent two weeks in Madrid
Finding your tribe
Resources on networking, writing from conversation, and programs to help teenagers find their tribe
The previous newsletter was about sleep, and was an article that I had needed to read myself. And yes, now that the testing week is over, I’ve been getting the full nine hours every night :)
A few weeks ago, I got accepted for my second summer at literally the coolest summer program ever, and I really wanted to write about it. This week’s article is about the most crucial thing I learned last summer at this program: the importance of finding your tribe.
Austin’s Anecdote: My Madrid Experience
It was the end of May, right before the summer after my freshman year, and I had made no plans: no flights were booked, no camps were signed up for, and no tickets were booked for baseball games. My family has always been last-minute planners, but this was a stretch even for us. I didn't really know what I was going to do with my two months of freedom.
But then, I heard one of my best friends talk about a program she was doing at a college in Boston, and I was inspired. I spent the next few days researching "pre-collegiate programs" (I still think that sounds pretentious) and trying to find one that was still accepting applications.
Luckily (for me at least), a lot of programs weren't full because of COVID and were still looking for applicants. And in the beginning of June, I found it: a pre-collegiate creative writing program held at Oxford. I was hooked. That is what I wanted to do with my summer: spend two weeks in July writing at the best school in England.
Two weeks, one completely non-exaggerated resume, and two teacher recommendations later, I was officially accepted into the Putney Student Travel Pre-Collegiate Oxford Academia program, and I couldn't have been more excited.
Of course, there was the obligatory COVID disaster, so the program was moved to Madrid, but I had never been to Spain before so I was still hyped.
On the plane ride to Madrid, the nervousness began to set in. Would anyone like me? Am I going to make any friends? Is everyone going to be smarter than me? Write better? Et cetera, et cetera (My anxiety came up with the most absurd questions, but you get the gist).
On my first night, I had a bad interaction with my roommate, a really slow water fountain, and no AC (in Spain during the summertime, this was the worst part). Maybe this was a mistake.
So when the next day arrived and it was time for my first class, I didn't have high expectations.
But when I walked into the classroom and the first thing I saw was a few of my classmates analyzing Madeline Miller's Song of Achilles (AKA one of the most beautifully written YA novels I have ever read), I changed my mind. This is going to be awesome.
Throughout the duration of that first class, my classmates and I discussed writing, wrote a poem together, and talked about the "intricacies of The Song of Achilles' prose." (Seriously– I never thought that phrase would be spoken by another teenager.)
After that class, it didn't matter that I wasn't going to be best friends with my roommate because I had a ton of other people to hang out with. It didn't matter that the water fountain was slow because I could talk to my new friends while we were waiting. It didn't matter that there was no AC because we could complain about it together.
After that class, I called my parents, bursting with excitement to tell them everything about my day. I talked for probably an hour.
Unfortunately, it didn't set in until later that because there was a time change between Spain and Austin, I had called my poor parents at 3 AM. And kept them on the phone for over an hour. Oops?
Anyway, it's funny how my perspective on the situation completely changed after only a few hours. It just took finding the right people to turn all of the bad things into good ones.
Don't get me wrong, I adore all of my friends from Austin to death. But there is absolutely no chance I could ever get them to write a poem with me or talk about a book we've all read. Ever. One of my best friends can count on one hand the number of books he's read in his entire life. (For real, SparkNotes is his best friend.)
This, of course, is not a bad thing. It is good to surround yourself with people of different interests and skillsets (I'll write a later post on this), but it is also important to surround yourself with people who share similar passions and hobbies.
I had felt completely at home with people I had only met a few hours ago, all because we were able to debate about books for fun. We were able to produce a poem together and every single person took writing seriously. I was with people like me.
Throughout the rest of the program, I was able to get incredible advice from not only the professor, but also from my peers. I learned how to take some aspects from one person's jaw-dropping poem about space and how to take different aspects from another person's genuinely tear-inducing flash fiction piece about Syrian refugees and infuse them into my own writing. I was inspired every second by my peers and the people I was surrounded by. They all pushed me to write better than I had before, just because they knew I could.
This also didn't stop when we left Madrid. To this day, I still reach out to my friends from the writing program to ask them for edits on my pieces or for book recommendations.
Every single one of them has influenced my writing, impacted what you're reading right now.
That is the power of finding your tribe.
Finding Your Tribe
It might seem obvious that it’s valuable to be surrounded by people who are passionate about the same things as you (AKA “your tribe”), but this idea isn’t as encouraged in teenagers' lives as it should be.
For the purpose of this newsletter, “your tribe” is defined as people who share similar passions and interests as you and who are able to motivate you and help you improve.
Obviously, “your tribe” isn’t limited to these people and can include your family and friends, but often you have to look further to find people with the same specific interests as you.
There are countless benefits for teenagers to start forming their tribe early. Here are four of the most significant:
Starting Networking Early
On a professional level, meeting and interacting with other teenagers who share similar passions is great practice for the future. It’s pretty much impossible to achieve anything great alone, so it’s crucial that teenagers learn how to find people to help them along their journey. Finding other teenagers who are experts in a certain topic, have more experience in a certain field, or possess a greater influence or reach can increase opportunities and connections now and later in life. A simple shout-out on a Tik-Tok star’s feed can open up countless opportunities. Or maybe a piece of advice from an expert on Twitter can cause a change in behavior that results in a viral article or video.
Motivating Each Other
My sister is not one to call me “just to talk” when we’re apart. That’s why I was shocked when I received a call from her one morning when I was in Dallas watching baseball games.
When I answered, she proceeded to spend over 15 minutes talking to me about a friend she made during volleyball camp. She went on and on about how “we’re going to practice together!” and “we’re going to do more camps together!” and how “she’s so good at passing and she’s going to help me!”
Anyway, by the time she let me get two words in, she told me she had to go do passing drills with her new friend.
For the rest of the week, not only was my sister participating in all of the camps, she was doing extra practice with her new friend. Both she and her new friend motivated each other to practice more, work harder, and get better and volleyball.
The same thing happened to me when I was in Madrid. Reading everyone else’s writing caused me to want to be a better writer.
Simply being in the presence of another teenager who shares similar passions motivates both teens to work harder.
“Writing From Conversation”
Now, to take something from Write of Passage (Read Austin Scholar #7: Teenagers Need to Learn How to Write Online), ideas can form simply from talking. When two people who are interested in the same topic have a conversation about that topic, innovative insights and new ideas can occur when the two perspectives meld.
Working Together
From these ideas, a cool project can emerge. Whether it’s working together on a video or article, or even just building on an existing project, the collaboration can create something awesome. The two teenagers can play to each other’s strengths and weaknesses and motivate each other to complete the project.
The project doesn’t have to be school-related either. Even just building an elaborate Minecraft world or filming Tik-Tok that goes viral can help foster a connection that grows into something great.
It can be pretty challenging for a teenager to find their tribe in the confines of school, pre-existing cliques, popularity, and the millions of other things that stop teenagers from making friends outside of their social circle at school. That’s why it is incredibly important to help your teen reach out and provide them with experiences that could help them find “their people.”
How Help Your Teenager Find Their Tribe
Two great ways to help your teenager find their tribe are:
Online CBCs (cohort-based courses)
Summer Programs
Online CBCs, such as Write of Passage, are an easy way to find other teens with similar interests. Even better, they can be done from your teen’s room.
Because online CBCs are able to connect teens from across the globe, instead of having only the kids at their school to connect with, teens have the entire world.
The same can be said for summer programs, such as the one I went to, but these programs offer a more hands-on and interactive experience.
Through programs and courses that connect teenagers across the world, teenagers have much higher chances of finding people for their tribe – people who motivate and help them to achieve something awesome.
Scholar’s Sources
I introduced the concept of writing from conversation in the article, so here is David’s original article about it. The concept is one of the core ideas of Write of Passage and the course itself contains many opportunities to practice this. Additionally, Write of Passage could be a great place to find people of similar passions and interests. Since I’m a teenager, it was a little more challenging to connect with the adults, but I still was able to meet some incredible people.
This article goes deeper into the value of learning to network while a teenager and has a few jokes written in for laughs (some land, some don’t–not going to lie). Overall, it’s a very clear and concise list and contains some good insights.
This is the page for the program I was talking about (Putney Student Travel: Oxford Academia), and I believe that they are still taking applications. This was seriously the best experience of my life (even though it was cut short–thanks, COVID) and I cannot recommend it enough. Your child will be able to choose from 15 different seminars and will get to experience life as a student at Oxford. I’m literally smiling just writing about it :)
Thanks for reading. Go crush the week! See y'all on Wednesday.
Very interesting. Loved it.