Austin Scholar #123: What two weeks in Asia taught me about independence
& trip highlights
Hey, y'all!
This week from Austin Scholar...
What two weeks in Asia taught me about independence
Scholar’s Sources: Trip highlights
I’m back!! After two incredible weeks gallivanting across Asia with four of my closest friends, it’s time to get back to it.
We spent a week in Japan (Tokyo and Kyoto), three days in Singapore, and five days in the UAE (Dubai and Abu Dhabi). I’m truly blessed to have been able to have such an incredible trip (and grateful to my parents for making sure I did absolutely no work on the trip – it’s probably the last time in my life I’ll be as obligation-free as I am now).
College feels like it’s getting closer and closer, so I’m really going to start preparing for that. I also missed my family so much over just two weeks, so I can’t imagine how hard college is going to be. If you have any tips for transitioning to living far away from your family, please let me know.
What two weeks in Asia taught me about independence
Now, some of you might be thinking, what could you have possibly learned about independence that you didn’t last year in Ukraine creating an education program for refugees? That sounds a lot harder than a senior trip with your friends.
Well, I have to admit, navigating around a ton of cities in Asia and creating plans and activities for each day is a lot different than being holed up in an AirBnB and a school working on an event. Probably not harder, but definitely different. And I learned a lot.
Flexibility
I love plans.
I’m a super meticulous person with to-do lists and schedules scribbled in any notebook I can find.
This trip, I really learned that not everyone is like me. Some people feel totally comfortable – and even enjoy – going into days with things not scheduled, planned, or booked. On one morning when no one had made plans, I was terribly stressed and anxious – I had no idea what was going on. If we weren’t deliberate about our day, were we even going to get to do the things we’d wanted to do in the city?
This anxiety was putting me in a bad mood and tainting what could’ve been an incredible morning. I kept thinking to myself, I’m on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with my friends, and I’m stressed that things aren’t perfectly planned? I can’t let my stress ruin this.
I practiced taking deep breaths and recognized that the world wasn’t going to end because we didn’t get everything done on our to-do list for that day – or worse, if we didn’t have a to-do list at all.
I put a smile on my face and told myself to let go of that stress and enjoy the day ahead.
And I did.
This day was a huge growth moment for me – letting go of control and plans and simply enjoying life.
Learning how to say no
Despite our similar educational experiences, my friends and I could not be more different. We have almost opposite interests – and sometimes, we just want to have different experiences in life.
While I love them endlessly and know they’ll have a huge impact on my life forever, it can make some parts of vacationing together… challenging.
They’ll want to go out and experience life in a way that just doesn’t resonate with me – and that’s okay.
But on our trip, I didn’t have any excuses. No parents to call to make up a task for me to do at home, no sister who needed me to pick her up. I was in complete control over the situation. I had to stand my ground and tell my friends that I was just going to go back to the hotel and to text me when they were heading home.
As someone with immense anxiety, that was really hard for me to do. I didn’t want them to think I was lame or get annoyed with me bailing, but when I thought about it, I knew that these people would always support me, just as I would them.
I could tell them “no” and wake up in the morning still secure in our friendships.
But now, since I’ve practiced it, I feel ten times more comfortable saying “no” in other situations – with people I might not be as comfortable with.
Looking at situations positively
As I mentioned, my friends and I don’t always have aligned interests. Something they particularly enjoy is shopping. I, unfortunately, don’t share that interest as strongly as they do. When we were walking down the shopping district in Kyoto and finding customizable chopsticks and rings and antique stores, I was all-in – it was an experience I couldn’t get anywhere else in the world. But when we walked into the fourth Zara of the trip, I started to get annoyed.
I felt like I was wasting time in incredible cities in stores we could go to in the US.
But my friends all really enjoyed trying on dresses and seeing what new things they could find that weren’t in US stores.
So while they were there, instead of staying annoyed and angrily thinking about what else we could be doing, I paused and started to think positive thoughts about the situation:
We’re in a mall in Singapore. We happen to be in a Zara. There are other stores. These other stores are probably cool. I should go walk around. That would be fun.
Negativity often blinds me to obvious solutions – I get so caught up in what’s wrong I can’t think about what would fix it. Being in a place where I wanted to find the positive in everything was great practice to – hopefully – get better at being solution-focused.
My family will always be there, no matter how far away I am