Austin Scholar #23: Making Friends 101: The Survivor Social Game
While I'm At Oxford...
Hey, y'all!
Since I was a little kid, I've always had major social anxiety. I used to have a hard time even talking to other kids at school.
Believe it or not, one of the things that helped me become more confident was actually a game show. You guessed it from the title of this newsletter: Survivor.
I'm convinced this show has important life lessons that can help every single teen.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
This week from Austin Scholar...
Austin’s Anecdote: How I first learned about Survivor – by playing it
Making Friends 101: The Survivor Social Game
Scholar’s Sources: My favorite resources from Survivor
This week I'm at a PreCollege program at Oxford, where I'll be for the rest of this month. If you've been following my newsletter for a while, you'll know that Oxford is my dream school, and I'm excited to be here.
I wrote and scheduled the next two issues ahead of time, so I can spend all my time focusing on my coursework while I'm here.
I'm excited to update y'all on my adventures when I get back!
If you haven’t heard of or watched Survivor before, here is a link and a video that give a brief overview of the show. I highly recommend looking at these two sources because I do use a lot of references in the article :)
Austin’s Anecdote: How I First Learned About Survivor – By Playing It
At the beginning of my sophomore year, one of my guides (Alpha’s replacement for teachers) introduced a new life skills workshop called Alpha Survivor, based on the TV show by the same name. To be honest, I hadn’t even heard of Survivor before, but I was excited..
This workshop was intended to increase connection within the high school, by pitting two teams against each other in an epic set of challenges
Whatever this game was, it sounded awesome.
To start, we drew our buffs – which is a bandana that basically just shows which tribe we would be competing with for the rest of the game.
Because I’ve been at Alpha for so long, I already knew quite a few of my teammates, so I was ready to play.
In our first meeting as a tribe, we had to decide which of two advantages we wanted to use during the challenge, which was capture-the-flag. We could either have more guards or smaller safe zones. As my tribe made our decision, I could already feel bonds being built.
And then, it was time for the challenge. We went outside into the scorching Texas heat and prepared ourselves for battle. As we neared our destination, we could see that the capture-the-flag battleground was ready for us. And of course, thanks to the beaming sun, we were already sweating by the time we arrived.
Because my friends and I were some of the oldest students on the tribe, we tried to hype-up all of the nervous freshmen as we got ready to start.
Right in the middle of my best friend’s speech, the alarm sounded and the game began.
It was an intense clash between tribes – advantages we’d chosen almost immediately coming into play. Extra guards around the flags and smaller safe zones became crucial as the game went on.
Everyone was coming together as a team.
But, unfortunately, even with all our might, our tribe lost.
And because it’s Survivor, someone has to go.
With heavy hearts, my tribe trudged back to school, all the while giving tribemates encouraging words.
As the wheel spun (elimination was basically a random lottery), everyone held their breaths, waiting for the result.
And then the unthinkable happened: one of the new freshmen was chosen.
My mind was spinning. No, she couldn’t go home. The main point of this workshop is to help everyone bond and be a team. And trust me, I’ve been friends with these people for a long time. I don’t need this as much as that freshman.
I decided almost immediately: I would volunteer as tribute.
As I left my tribe, the little freshman came up to me and thanked me, which made the whole thing worth it.
I spent the rest of Alpha Survivor watching everyone make bonds and forge friendships and build community, all while learning strategies for making good decisions.
I was entranced by this game. And so, I went home and watched all forty seasons of Survivor. As you do.
Dramatic retellings aside, I have learned so much from Boston Rob and Queen Sandra and just the game in general.
Survivor is a complex game of navigating relationships, building bonds, and utilizing all of the parts of your brain. So, naturally, I had to write about it.
Making Friends 101: The Survivor Social Game
On my first day of Kindergarten, I didn’t talk to anyone. I think I must’ve said one word the entire day: “Here.”
While my social reflex has shifted from “I’m not saying a single word” to “extreme nervous rambling” (Kelsea Ballerini captures me perfectly in her song “overshare”), the stress of talking to people has remained.
But, at least I know I’m not alone.
In basically every high school romcom, the main character has extreme social anxiety and no idea how to talk to people, let alone the star cheerleader or quarterback.
So, yeah. Talking to new people seems to be a challenge for a lot of high schoolers.
Here’s my take on learning how to make friends: pretend you’re on Survivor.
Um, Austin? Survivor is a game of manipulation and deceit. Why should my kid make friends like that?
Let me explain what I mean.