Austin Scholar #41: Yes, You Should Bribe Your Teen
(& How To Make Them Do Hard Things)
Hey, y'all!
What if I told you that motivating your kid to do insanely hard things is easier than you think?
And that my dad found the answer through none other than Taylor Swift?
Teens are capable of all the hard things they've been avoiding. You just might have to bribe them.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
This week from Austin Scholar...
Austin’s Anecdote: Taylor Swift Tickets And Distribution
Yes, You Should Bribe Your Teen (& How To Make Them Do Hard Things)
Scholar’s Sources: Resources To Help You With Your Taylor Swift-Worthy Goals
Happy Thanksgiving!
I was able to go on a lovely vacation with my family this past week and we did, in fact, do the awesome gratitude activity I talked about in last week’s newsletter. It was quite honestly a great bonding moment and I feel like my family now understands the meaning of gratitude a little bit better :)
Also, this week I passed an incredible personal milestone in my mental health journey. I don't want to get too far into it, but it feels like a huge win for me (and like somewhere I was never sure I'd get to end up), so I was able to celebrate that this week as well.
Austin’s Anecdote: Taylor Swift Tickets And Distribution
I love Taylor Swift.
I hate working on distribution.
Let me show you how these two things are connected.
My dad likes to say that there are two types of people in this world: those who want to sit by themselves and create all day, and those who want to talk to other people and sell something.
I'm a "sit by myself and create" type of person.
Talking to people is pretty much my least favorite thing in the world. People are so unpredictable?! And tiring?!
I always get super embarrassed when my parents talk about my newsletter in front of other adults. I feel like they expect me to have some insightful and pithy pitch to make in the conversation that will inspire them to go subscribe to my newsletter. And, of course, I spend hours overthinking everything I said (or didn't say) during our interaction.
Talking to people can just be... too much for me.
All of which comes as a surprise to all of you, I'm sure, because of the charming wit you've come to know and love from my newsletter ;)
But, alas, I'm only eloquent in writing.
Unfortunately for me, though, I can't expect 10,000 people to magically find my newsletter while I sit alone in my room and write to myself all day. I have to talk to people–so they know I exist. Tragic.
My dad and I have many conversations about all of the things that would be so incredibly good for me to do: cold email and cold DM people with a lot of followers, get on podcasts, and ask people to forward my content.
All of which, in theory, make perfect sense.
But, when I sit down to construct the perfect email, the words just... don't work.
And, funnily enough, something always seems to come up during the time I'm supposed to work on distribution. (You know, I should probably do that Physics homework that's due in 5 days right now. It might be harder than I'm expecting, so I need to start immediately.)
Every night, when my dad gets home, he asks me about what I've done to work on distribution. Every night, I come up with some fluffy story or excuse: Well, I wrote the first paragraph of my template cold email. (The first paragraph being, Dear [Name]). Every night, I get the same lecture on why I need to be focusing on distribution and how, right now, I'm just speaking into the void.
Yes, Dad, I get it. I just hate talking to people.
And, whenever I get a bunch of anxiety about my not-yet-created cold DMs, I put on Taylor Swift and have a lip-syncing concert in my bathroom.
I'm not sure if y'all are aware, but Taylor Swift is going on tour next year, and I've been talking non-stop about wanting to go.
When I threw in "I'll do anything to go. Anything," my dad came up with an idea that could benefit us both.
He wants me to work on my distribution because he thinks it would be good for my newsletter, or something like that.
I want to go to a Taylor Swift concert because I think it would be good for my entire existence.
So, if I get 10,000 followers on Twitter before her Houston performances (which would require me to cold DM a bunch of people with lots of followers), I get to go to a Taylor Swift concert.
Let me tell you: there isn't going to be another Physics assignment that I can't get done at a different time.
Yes, You Should Bribe Your Teen (& How To Make Them Do Hard Things)
What you should take away from that anecdote is that yes, you should bribe your kid.
Giving your kid a spectacular prize can make your kid do a ton of challenging academic work–things they didn’t think they could ever do.
When they’re trying to get this super amazing prize, they’ll do whatever it takes to win. And those internal blocks will start to crumble because their desire is stronger than their fear.
They’ll do the uncomfortable so that they can get something they really want.
They'll learn very quickly that they actually can do all the things they thought they couldn't.
And once they feel like they can, in fact, do these super cool, hard things, they’ll be more willing to do them on their own–without a prize at the end.
Bribes start out as extrinsic motivation, but the progress very quickly leads to intrinsic motivation.
If you want ideas for what types of goals to use, check out Scholar’s Sources.
Now, why Taylor Swift?
I’ve been using Taylor Swift tickets as my example prize, but why?
Well, Taylor Swift broke basically every record in the music industry, and deep down every teenager wants to go to one of her concerts. But as an added bonus, the timeframe is perfect for my academic goals–and probably for your kids, too.
The tour starts in late March, which gives your kid until right before finals and AP tests to meet their goals.
Also, Taylor Swift tickets are expensive and can be hard to get, so both you and your kid will have to put in work to meet this goal.
Finally, going to this concert together can be a super special night that you can share with your kid–and a night that shows how hard work (from both you and your kid) can really pay off.
I can tell you first-hand how motivating this is.
Parents, if you want your kid to meet challenging academic goals, forward them this section: