Austin Scholar #98: I got rejected from Oxford (but it didn’t destroy me)
& what I've been reading...
Hey, y'all!
This week from Austin Scholar...
Austin’s Anecdote: I got rejected from Oxford (but it didn’t destroy me)
Scholar’s Sources: What I’ve been reading…
After the events of this week, I wanted to give myself a little bit of grace and keep this newsletter short and sweet for y’all. I hope you still enjoy :)
Austin’s Anecdote: I got rejected from Oxford (but it didn’t destroy me)
Six years ago, I got a B in a college accounting class.
To me, that meant I was “B”-level. As a person.
Trust me, I understand how ridiculous this sounds – a tiny little sixth-grade girl “upset” about not getting an A in a college class. What a try-hard.
But I’d always been known as the girl who gets As. When we did exercises at school where we’d compliment each other, every time, without fail, I would get told that I was smart.
I’m in no way complaining about this. But I’d pretty closely attached “smart” and “100%” and “A” to who I was as a person.
And then in sixth grade, that was taken away from me. I could no longer say I was a perfect student. And to me, not perfect meant failing, which meant I was a failure.
That thought process (that twisty thought) stuck with me. I obsessed over it. Every time something didn’t work out exactly how I wanted or I didn’t check every item off my to-do list, I was a failure. I wasn’t good enough (and would never be good enough).
It might seem obvious, but this is an absolutely terrible mindset and made me constantly sad and anxious.
Today, I got rejected from Oxford University.
But instead of me being terrible and a reject and a failure who will never succeed in anything ever, I’m just disappointed.
Yes, I’m a little sad, but I know I put my all into that application and that I’m not defined by my acceptance or rejection.
When my first thought after reading the letter was “that sucks, but I’ll be okay,” I knew that I’d grown. (Seriously, who is this version of me and where did she come from?!)
I learned how to feel secure in myself – to not get my self-worth from my accomplishments or failures, but from my values and actions.
I know this seems like a radical shift, so here are some tips (for both parents and kids) on how to achieve this mindset: